We’ve been chatting over the last few days about learning to be joyful in the midst of life’s heart aches. If you missed the last conversations they can be found here:

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We finished last time by saying… grieving doesn’t last forever; But it can hold up our next step to joy or happiness in the heart attack if we don’t give it voice. That next step is:…

In the midst of life’s heart attacks Go back to what you know and wait patiently for God.

John 21:1-3  Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Galilee. It happened this way: ² Simon Peter, Thomas (also known as Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. ³ “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

Many people criticize Peter for going back to fishing after Jesus resurrection. Some think it was a sign that he was going back to his old life. I don’t. I think Peter was simply at loose ends. Jesus had risen from the dead, but what did that mean? What was Peter supposed to do with that knowledge? He didn’t know. So I think he simply went back to doing what was available what he knew while he waited for God. This is good advice. So many of us go through a bad spot in life and the first thing we do is change everything. We start making major life decisions before we have grieved or before we have sought God for His direction.

Charles Spurgeon said, “Stand still- keep the posture of an upright man, ready for action expecting further orders, cheerfully and patiently, awaiting  the directing voice; and it will not be long ere God shall say to you  as distinctly as Moses said it to the people of Israel, ‘Go forward.’      If the Lord Jehovah makes us wait, let us do so with our whole hearts; for blessed are all they that wait for Him. He is worth waiting for. The waiting itself is beneficial to us; it tries faith, exercises patience, trains submission, and endears the blessing when it comes. The Lord’s people have always been a waiting people.”

And John Ortberg says this about waiting for God. “Biblically waiting is not just something we have to do until we get what we want. Waiting is part of the process of becoming what God wants us to be.”

Waiting is not just doing nothing while we are hanging around for the God bus to show up. Biblical waiting is continuing in what we know to do until God shows us what we don’t know how to do. It is continuing in what we know even though we know that the continuing is not the answer. It is continuing in what we know because that is all we have of faithfulness to God and because  waiting will always eventually lead us to step three in becoming happy in the heart attack which is… See you tomorrow.

“There are only two things that pierce the human heart. One is beauty. The other is affliction. And while we wish there was only beauty in the world, each one of us has known enough pain to raise serious doubts about the universe we live in. From very early in life we know another message, warning us that the Romance has an enemy.” Brent Curtiss, The Sacred Romance

I have been writing about the calling and the romancing of God these last few days. The Bible sometimes reads like a fairytale (with the exception of  it being absolute fact). The call of a loving God beckons  each of us to a happily ever after; But just like in every good fairytale there are dragons and dark castles filled with nightmares between us and the Love of our lives.

It is in discovering and conquering our dragons and monsters that we gain access to the plans of God and the intimate relationship that God wants us to have. One thing I have learned during this season of Lent is that sometimes our dragons lie invisible. Just beneath the surface of our hearts they rest slumbering under deep spells of denial. Yet even slumbering dragons have the power to keep us back from our dreams unless they are committed into the hands of  the Savior who can defeat them all.

God has been faithfully revealing things in my heart and life that I didn’t even know were there: A fear of success planted in my heart by a relative who said I would never be capable of taking care of myself; a fear of standing out planted by someone who took every opportunity to make fun of the way I looked; a fear of standing up for myself.

All of these are like arrows lodged in my heart making me afraid to take the voyage all the way to God’s plan even though I believe it is the best for me and will lead me on the greatest of adventures.  I am like a boy standing high on a limb over a lake holding fast to the rope swing. My heart is pounding with the excitement of taking the plunge but I am afraid to step off of the limb.

But this season is all about bringing my hurts and fears to God and allowing Him to heal them. I am no longer standing on a limb that holds me back. I am standing on the promises of God that propel me forward.

What promises from God’s Word have the potential to propel you forward?

    In my meditation this morning God took me back to the first stirrings of my heart towards Him. I think I was always aware that there was something bigger than me in the universe. Even though everything around me pushed me to believe that we were just the results of billions of years of evolution I knew in my heart that there was a Divine Spark in the universe. I didn’t know what that spark was and I felt far removed from it but I knew it was there.

   Then in eighth grade Jesus began to call. I knew I was searching for God. I searched amongst the saints of the Catholic church. I wanted the closeness to God that they experienced. I thought that I could perhaps find Him if I was good enough. Then I turned to the Jehovah’s Witnesses. I studied with them for a bit and learned that only certain were chosen to be close to God and the rest should learn to settle for their lot in life and be glad of salvation.

   A teacher took me aside one day after hearing I was studying with the J.W.”s and explained to me salvation by faith alone through grace alone. I heard about a God who loved me and who actually wanted me to be close to Him and who had made the way. All I had to do was believe and receive and my life would change.

    Nothing has been the same since I entered into this sacred romance with God. I am changing. He has put me on a journey. Eternal life started the day I accepted Jesus.

As I fast this Lenten season the flames of  divine romance are being kindled into a mighty bonfire. The things that dampen my resolve and my love for Him are being removed. I am romanced by a God who is wild and orderly all at once and so far beyond my ken that I stand everyday amazed by this Lover who has come seeking me!

When was the first time you encountered the God who loved you? 

As Joyce Meyers says, “The battlefield is the mind.”

If we can win the battle in the mind then we will win the battle.  So today’s question for meditation:

What way of thinking do you want God to change in you?  I have already addressed this in previous posts ( the” I can’t do it mindset”) so perhaps a good use of time tonight will be to address how God changes our hearts and minds. The word of God says:

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer
your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true
and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing
of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his
good, pleasing and perfect will.” Rom. 12:1,2 NIV

We humans have a need to consistently re-present ourselves to God in a mind-set of sacrificial living. We must constantly ask ourselves, “What area of this life needs to be given for love of Jesus.”

Such sacrifices always seem costly at the moment but as Jesus said, ” everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property, for my sake, will receive a hundred times as much in
return and will inherit eternal life.” MA 19:29 NLT

The sacrifice will drive us into prayer and study of the Word, It will bring us out of the pathway that conforms with the world’s understanding.  Our way will  no longer follow the patterns of our upbringing, our families or our friends where those patterns come into conflict with the rightly divided Word of truth.

Through this season of Lent I feel my heart being prepared by God to walk in His miracles. I feel like He has given me a story larger than myself to live in, a story many others may struggle to believe. He is changing me so that I can live in the larger story.

How is God enlarging your story this year?

My meditational question for the day is: What do you want God to help you learn in life?

Again this question comes from :

http://cyndilumoon.wordpress.com/2013/02/19/survey-says/.

There are lots of things I would like to learn, but we are not talking about foreign languages and how to fix plane engines here. Flights of fancy are strictly off  the menu and the Lord didn’t point this question at me so I could figure out what major I want to be in college. Maybe the question is, “What do I need to learn in life that God alone can teach?”

God has been burdening me with two deep requests these last few days and they boil down to: being proactive and being celebratory.

 My lead pastor has a favorite saying that I have tried to embody over the decade I have worked with him. That is, “Respond. Don’t react.”

Over time I have become pretty good at this but I think God wants to take this to a new level for me. I believe He is saying “Learn to respond before you need to react.”

To be proactive is to anticipate what is coming and to be ready for it. I know we can’t see every detail of the road ahead but I feel like God is changing me to make me prepare for needs that have yet to be  stated. I think the church has to begin to plan for the needs of the future by faith and as a pastor in the universal body of Christ I have to begin modelling this behavior for the body. I believe this preparation needs to be realized in several areas:

1. In Spiritual health.

2.  In caring for the possessions God has given us

3. In setting aside a surplus so that we can give it away to others in need.

I will talk about the need to celebrate tomorrow but for now let me ask you a question… Has God been saying anything similar to any of you?

I am coming back to a list of five questions I started meditating on while I was in Maine. The questions were posted by Cyndi Lu at  http://cyndilumoon.wordpress.com/2013/02/19/survey-says/.

Today’s meditational question: What are you not letting God control?

I have grown by leaps and bounds in letting God have the reigns of my life over the last several years but there are still some areas where I need to surrender control to God. I guess if it comes right down to it we are not talking about a tug- of- war between my control and God’s control. The areas of my life where I am holding out on God are not under my control either. They are just out of control.

For instance, God told me a while ago that I needed to schedule my rest and my Sabbath; It needed to become intentional. I needed to value my rest time as important as my ministry time for my own health. I obeyed Him. I now schedule my days off. I even schedule naps. I don’t take them. But at least they are scheduled 😦

I guess I struggle because I fear negative reactions from men. I think it goes deeper than that though. Admitting I need rest is to proclaim I am weak. There is a lie in there somewhere that I am believing.

As I pondered this question 2 other areas also popped up that I need to spend some time praying about. This is good stuff…life-changing stuff. I thank Jesus that He is transforming my heart.

Do you struggle with guilt over taking a break? How do you deal with it?