I am coming back to a list of five questions I started meditating on while I was in Maine. The questions were posted by Cyndi Lu at http://cyndilumoon.wordpress.com/2013/02/19/survey-says/.
Today’s meditational question: What are you not letting God control?
I have grown by leaps and bounds in letting God have the reigns of my life over the last several years but there are still some areas where I need to surrender control to God. I guess if it comes right down to it we are not talking about a tug- of- war between my control and God’s control. The areas of my life where I am holding out on God are not under my control either. They are just out of control.
For instance, God told me a while ago that I needed to schedule my rest and my Sabbath; It needed to become intentional. I needed to value my rest time as important as my ministry time for my own health. I obeyed Him. I now schedule my days off. I even schedule naps. I don’t take them. But at least they are scheduled 😦
I guess I struggle because I fear negative reactions from men. I think it goes deeper than that though. Admitting I need rest is to proclaim I am weak. There is a lie in there somewhere that I am believing.
As I pondered this question 2 other areas also popped up that I need to spend some time praying about. This is good stuff…life-changing stuff. I thank Jesus that He is transforming my heart.
Do you struggle with guilt over taking a break? How do you deal with it?