I know after the year we all just lived through many of us were hoping to get back to “business as usual” or at least business as it used to be. Maybe somewhere out there that is happening for someone, but that isn’t how it is for me.
And you know what? I am good with that!
I have said to many of my friends that as frightening and difficult as 2020 was, it changed me in ways that I want to abide in for a while…maybe forever. I don’t want to go back to what was. I want to forge ahead into something new.
And 2021 seems to be delivering on the age old promise, “You can’t go back again.”: With my lead pastor leaving and the church looking for its next leader, I can’t go back again; With the birth of my second grand-daughter and the promise of a third by fall from these two….
I can’t go back again; With the upcoming publication of my first novel, Pork Chops With the Sentinels Of Azatan , I can’t go back again; With my sister finishing up her itineration and getting ready to head back to The Netherlands, I can’t go back again; With the Franklin family looking to relocate to this area, I can’t go back again;….
I suppose as I think about it I could go back…..but I really don’t want to. I feel more ready for an adventure now than I ever have before. I feel more ready to move forward into something new than I ever have before. Somehow 2020 got me unstuck. I am no longer willing to settle for business as usual. I also feel less inclined to accept the status quo as it is set up by other people.
I know how I want to live my life now.
I also feel strong enough to not let others tell me how to live it. I am ready to move forward and not to go back to what was.
Lillie-Put 
I think 2020 has definitely taught me that it’s okay to stay still for a moment. So I was unemployed for a few months in 2018 and had to stay home everyday to search for a job. Staying home those few months had nearly driven me insane. I was depressed, anxious, and antsy. Ever since I got my current job in 2018, I don’t think I’ve stopped moving because I was afraid that if I don’t get out of the house and move about, I’d go crazy like I did in 2018.
I stayed home for most of 2020. At first, it was near unbearable but then I got used to (near the end of the year), now, I’m okay with staying home for the weekend.
The peace of being able to sit still has definitely been a blessing for me. It is one of the things I don’t want to lose. I feel so much more balalnced now.
That definitely feel like blessing. I am working on that and sometimes, still have hard time sitting still for 2 minutes. Hopefully, one day, I’ll get the hang of it.