The Compassion Team at our church is working its way through The Relationship Principles Of Jesus, by Tom Holladay. This month we studied chapter 15 which is “Communication Isn’t Easy.”

If communicating were only about speaking words it would be easy. Unfortunately, communication is not just about speaking; it’s about hearing, and not just hearing, but hearing rightly.

I cannot tell you how many times I step into the pulpit with a carefully crafted sermon, absolutely sure of what I desire to communicate, only to have my parishioners hear something I never intended, and in my eyes I never said.

Over the years I have become keenly aware that whenever I speak, what I say is perceived through a set of filters that are built into my listeners. If I am speaking to one person then I am dealing with one set of filters. If I am speaking to ten people then I am dealing with ten sets of filters. If I am speaking to three-hundred people then….Well you get the picture.

We all have filters that we use to interpret the world around us. We understand things through: the lenses of our upbringings, the lenses of our childhood and adult experiences and the lenses of language proficiency. Even our physical condition can affect how we hear and perceive words being spoken to us.

If what I say is constantly being reinterpreted by the people around me how can I ever expect to be understood by anybody? Well, this is where  God has to come into the center of our communication and help us. There are some basic principles He offers, to give us a hand in the art of communication.

The list below is not exhaustive but it’s a start.

1. Be slow to speak and quick to listen Jas. 1:19: Before we try to speak into a person’s life, we ought to first listen to their heart to see if we can understand how they perceive the world around them. Then we stand a better chance of communicating in a way they will understand. The better we know a person the better we understand their filters.
2. Be intentional and concise in speaking Ma. 12:36,37: We need to check our hearts and think about what we would say in any given situation. If our motives or thoughts are not pure we need to set those things to rights before we open our yaps. Usually the less we say the better off everyone is.
3. Finally, commit your words into the Holy Spirit’s hands and let Him control how they are perceived Psalm 19:14: Before I preach I always pray that the Holy Spirit would take my words and apply them where He sees fit. I may not be able to rightly communicate through all the filters people present, but the Holy Spirit can. Ultimately it is His job (according to John 16) to convict the world of sin and righteousness and judgment, not mine.