Pulling Out Of a Tailspin

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One of the perks of my job is a monthly life-coaching session with a nationally certified coach paid for by the church.

I love my coach. He and I are making great head way in doing a “clean-sweep” of my life to help me gain a greater focus on the things I really need to be doing to fulfill my life’s mission.

We were almost finished our session yesterday. We were making my action plan and something I said spawned one more question. It was a good question. You can always tell a good question because it stops you in your tracks and makes you say, “Huh! I had never thought of that.”

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More often than not a really good question is not easy to answer in the moment. Sometimes you even have to say, “I don’t know. I am going to have to think about that one for awhile.”

That is what I said to my coach. We closed off our session, prayed for one another and then went back to our various work loads.

I had a package to mail overseas. So I went to the post office and along the way the question kept burning at the corners of my mind. Something about it was bothering me. I mailed my package, got back in my car and suddenly it was like I was free falling from a thousand feet. I  understood in that moment what the question was ferreting out in me. A memory, a hurt from several years ago came rushing to the surface. I thought it was dealt with done. I was wrong. The issue was only buried  below skin level just waiting for the right situation (or the right question) to unbury it and  bring it back to the surface.

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Iccahrus falling from the sun

Life rewound and I was back at the very beginning of one of my life’s most painful seasons. Needless to say I didn’t get much more work done yesterday afternoon. Instead I chose to spend the afternoon listening to sad songs on Youtube while licking wounds I thought no longer  existed.

I went home for my supper break and took a nap hoping it would make me feel better. I woke up still feeling like a plane whose engine had cut out while in mid flight.

On the way back to church I began to talk to myself, “Self you have got to pull it together you have to lead worship rehearsal tonight.”

I breathed a silent prayer for help and closed myself in my office to prepare my devotion for the team.

I was spanning through a host of devotional blogs and then I came across this post from CHRISTIAN BLESSINGS.

As the song, “Just To Be With You” by Third Day played I heard the voice of God whisper in my ear, “I have done everything just to be with you J. What are you letting stand in the way of us being together.”

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I realized then that the only thing standing between me and healing of this hurt was me. I knew in that moment that Jesus could do more than just take away the hurt and rebury it.He could take it and truly heal it but in order to do that I had to decide not to let it stand between us anymore.  I had to bring it out of the darkness and shine some light on it. And I had to stop feeding it.

So first I prayed and asked God to forgive me for letting these feelings stand between me and Him.

Then I took the song “Just to Be With You” to my devotion and I confessed what I was feeling to my worship team because a thing of darkness brought into the light loses its power. It was a little embarrassing admitting that I still was holding onto a hurt from almost a decade ago but it had to be done.

Then I determined no more sad songs. So this morning instead of “February Song.”, “Empty Chairs and Empty Tables” , “On My Own”, and “Til I Hear You Sing”, I listened to this:

And this

And This

Ahh that’s better!

When Your Heart Is Disturbed

This is for that reader who’s day has gone off the rails a bit. Isaiah the prophet counsels you with these words,

This is what the Sovereign LORD,

the Holy One of Israel, says:

“Only in returning to me

and resting in me will you be saved.

In quietness and confidence is your strength. Isa. 30:15

So don’t look to the world or for worldly solutions to bail you out. Look to Him and remember

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of all the earth.

He never grows weak or weary.

No one can measure the depths of his understanding.

29He gives power to the weak

and strength to the powerless.

30Even youths will become weak and tired,

and young men will fall in exhaustion.

31But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.

They will soar high on wings like eagles.

They will run and not grow weary.

They will walk and not faint.

Isa. 40:28-31

It is going to be all right!

Directions From Morning Scripture 2-12-16

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On July 31[a] of my thirtieth year,[b] while I was with the Judean exiles beside the Kebar River in Babylon, the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God.This happened during the fifth year of King Jehoiachin’s captivity. (The Lordgave this message to Ezekiel son of Buzi, a priest, beside the Kebar River in the land of the Babylonians,[c] and he felt the hand of the Lord take hold of him.)

As I looked, I saw a great storm coming from the north, driving before it a huge cloud that flashed with lightning and shone with brilliant light. There was fire inside the cloud, and in the middle of the fire glowed something like gleaming amber.[d] From the center of the cloud came four living beings that looked human, except that each had four faces and four wings. Their legs were straight, and their feet had hooves like those of a calf and shone like burnished bronze. Under each of their four wings I could see human hands. So each of the four beings had four faces and four wings. The wings of each living being touched the wings of the beings beside it. Each one moved straight forward in any direction without turning around.

10 Each had a human face in the front, the face of a lion on the right side, the face of an ox on the left side, and the face of an eagle at the back. 11 Each had two pairs of outstretched wings—one pair stretched out to touch the wings of the living beings on either side of it, and the other pair covered its body.12 They went in whatever direction the spirit chose, and they moved straight forward in any direction without turning around.

13 The living beings looked like bright coals of fire or brilliant torches, and lightning seemed to flash back and forth among them. 14 And the living beings darted to and fro like flashes of lightning.

15 As I looked at these beings, I saw four wheels touching the ground beside them, one wheel belonging to each. 16 The wheels sparkled as if made of beryl. All four wheels looked alike and were made the same; each wheel had a second wheel turning crosswise within it. 17 The beings could move in any of the four directions they faced, without turning as they moved. 18 The rims of the four wheels were tall and frightening, and they were covered with eyes all around.

19 When the living beings moved, the wheels moved with them. When they flew upward, the wheels went up, too. 20 The spirit of the living beings was in the wheels. So wherever the spirit went, the wheels and the living beings also went. 21 When the beings moved, the wheels moved. When the beings stopped, the wheels stopped. When the beings flew upward, the wheels rose up, for the spirit of the living beings was in the wheels.

22 Spread out above them was a surface like the sky, glittering like crystal.23 Beneath this surface the wings of each living being stretched out to touch the others’ wings, and each had two wings covering its body. 24 As they flew, their wings sounded to me like waves crashing against the shore or like the voice of the Almighty[e] or like the shouting of a mighty army. When they stopped, they let down their wings. 25 As they stood with wings lowered, a voice spoke from beyond the crystal surface above them.

26 Above this surface was something that looked like a throne made of blue lapis lazuli. And on this throne high above was a figure whose appearance resembled a man. 27 From what appeared to be his waist up, he looked like gleaming amber, flickering like a fire. And from his waist down, he looked like a burning flame, shining with splendor. 28 All around him was a glowing halo, like a rainbow shining in the clouds on a rainy day. This is what the glory of theLord looked like to me. When I saw it, I fell face down on the ground, and I heard someone’s voice speaking to me.

Do you see God in the middle of your storm? What is His voice telling you?