There have been many leadership lessons I have had to learn over the years. I don’t think I am what you call a natural leader. I guess I had to come to that admission over time but there it is… the confession. I have had to learn to be a leader.

When I first started taking leadership classes it seemed like everything in the class was an indictment against my personality: If you want to lead you have to vision;If you want to lead you have to schedule; If you want to lead you have to be intentional; If you want to lead you have to embrace healthy conflict; If you want to lead you have to actually deal with people and the biggest one of all…If you want to lead you need to say “no” more than you say “yes”.

Saying “no” has been one of the hardest lessons for me. I have had to learn it by increments over time.

When I first began learning the lesson I couldn’t say “no” to anyone. It just felt mean. People would show up at my door and ask me for a favor and I felt like I had to do whatever they asked because that was what Jesus would do (that’s a lie we Christians tell ourselves by the way).

I remember one time a lady from the church showed up unannounced at my home and told me I had to set the clock in her car because she didn’t know how to do it herself. Apparently, in her world, pastors setting clocks fell under the line in the job description which read “and other duties as needed.”

The first level of learning to say “no” was learning to say “no” to the things I had no business doing, like setting the clocks in someone’s car or going out to rake the woods around the church because the woods around the church should be neat (a real suggestion in case you are wondering). Believe it or not this took practice and I actually felt bad about saying “no” to begin with.

But saying “no” to whackadoo suggestions was not the  end-game, by a long shot. It was the first lap, not the finish line. I have learned that the enemy of the best is not the bad. The enemy of the best is the good. It is not enough to say “no” to bad suggestions. In order to say “yes” to the best in life I am learning I have to say “no” to a lot of good things, a lot of worthwhile things, a lot things I am even talented for and enjoy.

Reaching God’s best for me is not attaining a life full of things I enjoy. Reaching my best means completing the tasks God has for me, period. Now, while I believe ultimately that will bring me great joy and will involve me using my talents to their fullest potential, God’s plan is not about my joy or my talents. It’s all about Him and His kingdom.

I am finding that there are a lot of worthwhile things, fun things, enjoyable things in the Kingdom that just aren’t my job. I could do them. I would do them. I would even enjoy them…and other people would like it if I did them. But those good, enjoyable, worthwhile things do not match the vision God has given me for my life. They match somebody’s vision but not mine.

What that means is that if I do them not only am I getting distracted from God’s plan for me but I am stealing someone else’s God-vision.

It’s hard. It even makes me a little sad to start saying “no” to some of the things I am currently doing, but it is necessary for my sake, for other people’s sake and for the Kingdom’s sake.

let me ask you have you made your no known?